Teens fearful of reporting domestic abuse

After reading many articles, on different ways people abuse their own, or other children, this artlice was great, it feels good knowing that there are people that care. And the story about Chris and Rhianna, I think, will help kids, teens, adults realize how dangerous or unhealthy an abusive relationship is. I thinks it's great how in some states there's now a law to have class on absuive realtionships and different people are coming up with sites, and programs to help people that may have gone through or going through abuse. Alot of teenagers, and even young adults say it's okay that their significant other hits them, or controls them, or call them rude names. But it's not, they don't realize how bad it could get, or how it's getting. Anyone who has gotten in one needs to learn to get out of it, get help, don't be scared to tell somebody. It's only going to get better, as long as you tell somebody. Same goes for children, if you think a child is getting abused, you need to do something, tell somebody, or it could only lead to the worst, death. I also think it's great after seeing, and reading all the articles on diffferent kinds of abuse, that people are caring and coming up with different ways to help and talk to the kids about abuse. I also thought is was really good, for people who may be reading this and gone through, or knows someboyd going through it, that they have the ways to tell if you're being abused, or somebody else is being abused!

Teens Fearful of Reporting Domestic Abuse

In Chigago A common reaction among students to Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rihanna goes something like this: "Ha! She probably did something to provoke it," said Ed Loos, a junior at Lake Forest (Ill.) High School
In Chicago, Sullivan High School sophomore Adeola Matanmi has heard the same.
"People said, 'I would have punched her around too,'" Matanmi said. "And these were girls!"

As allegations of battery swirl around the famous couple, experts on domestic violence say the response from teenagers just a few years younger shows the desperate need to educate this age group about dating violence.
Their acceptance, or even approval, of abuse in romantic relationships is not a universal reaction. But it comes at a time when 1 in 10 teenagers has suffered such abuse and females ages 16 to 24 experience the highest rates of any age group.

In recent years, some schools and youth organizations have started educating teens about the dangers of dating violence. Rhode Island and Virginia have adopted laws requiring such instruction in the public schools.
But most states, including Illinois, don't have such a mandate, and education on the topic remains in short supply, experts say. Two of three new programs created by the federal Violence Against Women Act in 2005 to address teen dating violence were never funded.

"This incident has brought the issue into sharp focus," said Esta Soler, president of the California-based Family Violence Prevention Fund. "This type of education is not happening in any broad or consistent way. We need to take it to scale, to make sure it's happening in every community."

Details of the incident between singers Brown and Rihanna are fuzzy, but the story continues to create much buzz among teens across the Chicago area. Because she's 21 and he's 19, many teens see them as peers.
Katie Lullo, a junior at Elk Grove High School, said her classmates and friends were upset. "No one thinks it's right for a guy to hit a girl," she said. And when the topic arose at an after-school program at Evanston, Ill.'s YMCA, many participants said abuse was "bogus."

But other teens insist violence is sometimes justified in relationships.
While young fans have plastered Rihanna's MySpace page with notes of support, many comments on Brown's page express delight at the possibility that he battered a woman.

Kriana Jackson, a sophomore at Sullivan, said it's a sign of a broader culture of acceptance of abuse.
"There was a girl at school this week with a scratch on her eye," Jackson said. "She was talking openly about her boyfriend hitting her, but she was smiling and saying it was funny."

Young people carry these attitudes into adulthood, experts say, and young targets of dating violence are more likely to succumb to aggression in later relationships.

For that reason, experts see education and other prevention initiatives geared at teens and preteens as one of the best hopes for halting dating and domestic violence.
"We know that education is absolutely crucial to breaking the cycle of abuse and strengthening healthy relationships," said Candice Hopkins, director of loveisrespect.org, the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, which started in 2007 and receives about 90 contacts a week.

Because young victims move in a different world than that of older people, they require unique interventions.
Text messaging and online social-networking sites, especially popular among teenagers, serve as tools for stalking and harassment. Victims often keep quiet, fearing that if they report another student's aggressive behavior, they will be socially ostracized -- or that their parents will confiscate their cell phone or close a Facebook account.

Teens also can have a harder time severing contact with an abuser. Many are forced to see the perpetrator every day at school, sometimes in the same class. Young adults seeking an order of protection from Cook County judges must bring a guardian to apply on their behalf.

Last summer, the president of the National Association of Attorneys General launched a campaign called "Working Together to End the Violence" and specifically called on communities to focus on relationship abuse among young people. More recently, the Family Violence Prevention Fund launched a national public-service advertising campaign this month called "That's Not Cool" to help teens recognize digital dating abuse and take steps to prevent it.

The Chicago-based group Between Friends is among the non-profit organizations that go into schools to teach students about the signs of abusive control, why it's wrong and how to cultivate healthy relationships. Its REACH program gets students involved in role-playing and other exercises.

"When we first get there, it's not unusual for kids -- both boys and girls -- to say it's OK to hit your girlfriend or boyfriend," said Kathy Doherty, the organization's executive director. "By the time we're done, they say, yes, it is abuse, and, no, we shouldn't do that."

As Doherty and others work to expand such programming, they hope teachers, parents and others use the story about Brown and Rihanna to talk to teens about dating violence.
Loos said his law teacher at Lake Forest recently incorporated the story into class.
But when students brought it up in Chelsea Whitis' economics class at Lane Tech High School in Chicago, the teacher brushed it aside.
"He said the celebrities were getting too much attention and didn't want us to talk about it," Whitis said.

WARNING SIGNS AND SOURCES OF HELP
Signs of an abusive relationship
Your boyfriend or girlfriend:
--Hits, slaps, pushes or kicks you
--Controls where you go, what you wear or what you do
--Tries to stop you from seeing or talking to family or friends
--Calls you derogatory names
--Sends repeated text messages
--Forces you to do something sexual when you don't want to

SIGNS THAT YOUR FRIEND OR CHILD MAY BE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
She apologizes for his behavior and/or makes excuses for him.
She frequently cancels plans at the last minute for reasons that sound untrue.
She seems worried about upsetting him or making him angry.
She's giving up things that used to be important to her and is becoming increasingly isolated.
Her weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically. These could be signs of depression, which could indicate abuse.
She has injuries she can't explain, or the explanations she gives don't make sense.

Note: Males can also be victims and show similar signs

RESOURCES
~National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: loveisrespect.org, 866-331-9474
~National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
~Domestic Violence 24 Hour Helpline For Survivors in Illinois: 877-863-6338
~www.thatsnotcool.org, funded by the Family Violence Prevention Fund(c) 2009, Chicago Tribune.Visit the Chicago Tribune on the Internet at http://www.chicagotribune.com/
~Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.
~ARCHIVE ILLUSTRATION on MCT Direct (from MCT Illustration Bank, 202-383-6064): Violence in media ILLUSFor reprints, email tmsreprints@permissionsgroup.com, call 800-374-7985 or 847-635-6550, send a fax to 847-635-6968, or write to The Permissions Group Inc., 1247 Milwaukee Ave., Suite 303, Glenview, IL 60025, USA.

Ten Reasons to Prevent Child Abuse: RESPONSE

I was really happy to read this article. I think these reasons to prevent child abuse are great, and shows that people do care about it, and would like it to stop completely. The fact that kids under the age of 1 are dieing so rapidly because of this rediculous, uncalled for abuse, is unbelievable! And seriously, parents and people who are abusing these children, because they may have been abused as a child and are doing what they had done to them when they were children, are causing so much damage, physically and emotionally; chronic health problems, cognitive and language disorders, and socio-emotional problems, such as low self-esteem, lack of trust, and poor relationships with adults and peers. I could never do that to a child, whether i was abused or not, and I would think that because you were abused as a child and knew how it felt and hurt and broke you mentally, physically and emotionally, you wouldn't want that for your own children, but i guess i'm wrong!? I think as a new parent, and you were abused as you were younger therapy, though doesn't always work, would be the best to atleast try, prevent it, keep your kids safe, not kill them or make them suffer. HAving therpay I agree would make a much better world, neighborhood and community. And also allow children to be more comfortable with the way the live and with the people tht surround them, that they may have to be around. prevent child abuse in any way you can!

Ten Reasons to Prevent Child Abuse: NOTES

1) Child abuse can be fatal. Each year, an average of three children a day are fatal victims of maltreatment. The vast majority of these children are under the age of one.

2) Child abuse stymies a child's normal growth and development. The emotional and physical damage children suffer from abuse and neglect is extensive. Documented consequences of abuse include chronic health problems, cognitive and language disorders, and socio-emotional problems, such as low self-esteem, lack of trust, and poor relationships with adults and peers.

3) Child abuse is costly for many social institutions.

4) Child abuse costs continue to multiply over time.

5) Child abuse victims often repeat the violent acts that they experienced on their own children. Although some victims can overcome the scars of their abuse, child abuse victims are six times more likely to become abusive parents than non-abused children are.

6) Treatment services, while critical, are often ineffective in permanently altering parental behaviors.

7) Prevention programs targeted at parents before they become abusive or neglectful reduce the likelihood for future maltreatment. Home visitor programs for new parents have consistently demonstrated the most positive outcomes. Specific gains include improved mother-infant bonding, enhanced parenting skills, and more consistent use of health care services. Recipients of these services also have demonstrated a reduced rate of child abuse when compared to comparable groups of parents not receiving services.

8) Prevention programs targeted at children can improve a child's awareness of how best to avoid child abuse and other unsafe practices. Repeated reviews of numerous evaluations of these programs indicate that such efforts can result in increased knowledge for children about safety rules and what they should do if they are being abused. Further, the programs create an environment in which children can more easily disclose prior or ongoing maltreatment.

9) Child abuse prevention efforts serve as a way to combat other social problems of concern to the public and to policy makers.

10) Child abuse prevention creates a more compassionate society, one which places a high value on the welfare of children.

Response: Mother Charged With Child Abuse, Torture

This has definately been one of the worst child abuse report. Because not only was the mother abusing her 5 children, severly, and her kids are so terrified of her that they never want to see her again, but her husband, i'm guessing their father, made and excuse for her. Like it was okay, when it's far from okay! Putttin your child in an oven, a hot oven, and poking her in the eyes with a hot metal pole and then beating another child with a metal pole, is completly wrong on every level and should have no excuse for it and should never be aloud to have custody of her children again. And so what, who cares if she is suffering a mental illness and is supposedly a good mother when she is on medications and going to therapy. If she isn't going to stay on her meds and keep going to therapy she shouldn't be aloud to have her children, under no circumstances and her husband shouldn't allow her to do so just because she is sick. It would seem more smart to me if he didn't allow them in custody of her when she was sick, and allowed her to abuse them like that. If she is sick, he is more to blame then she is, in my opinion. If she wanted to keep her kids and cared, she also should;ve stayed on her medication and kept with therapy at all times. A hot oven is ignorant and besides killing, the worse thing you can do to a poor child. :( :( :(

Notes: Mother Charged With Child Abuse, Torture

~A mother of five children, ages 9 months old, 4 years, 6 years, 8 years and 9 years old. from Detroit, has been charged with two counts of first-degree child abuse and with two counts of torture on Wednesday.
~This mother, Reyna Valentina of Hamtramck, called the cops on herself!
~She was accused of putting her 4-year-old daughter inside a heated oven & burning her eyes with a metal object.
~4 year old stated "Mom cooks me like a turket in the oven" says Hamtramck police Detective Ben Bilecki.
~the youngest also stated that, "Mama gave me the boo bos in my eyes."
~this 40 yr. old mother is also being accused of beating her 6 yr. old with a metal bar.
~"All of the kids are terrified of their mother, the defendant in this case. They do not want to go back to her," Bilecki said.
~Randy, who is Reyna Valentina husband, is a good mother but is suffering from mental illness.
"Reyna is a fantastic mother. She's a very loving mother. She has a mental illness that she's dealt with for 20 plus years since she was a child," he said. "The things that she has done are only when she's off medication. When she's ill, those things present themselves."
~"She's Perfect." Randy says, when she is on medication and keeps up with therapy.
~children are now in protective custody, and Officials told Local 4 that the children have been removed before.
~If Valentina is convicted she could spend the rest of her life in prison, preliminary exam is on Feb 12.